Truth from the photographer

Hello all and happy Wednesday!

I hope this post finds you well! I am working on photography homework and lurking in a FB group that I monitor at the same time (thank god I can multitask). I was sharing some images from Easter this weekend and I realized that they were a lot more grainy then I originally realized and I am rather upset. It turned out my ISO was too high and my F-stop was also too high, but it sparked an interesting conversation with another photographer friend of mine.

She told me that I was too anxious to learn!

She's more then likely right!

Anyone who has known me for longer then a week, knows that when I am interested in something, I focus really hard on learning everything I can about the subject and doing so as quick as I can. Especially since I am now in Germany and away from all my friends and family (although it would be super nice to have someone to practice on!)

I bought a bunch of ebooks to read, and I follow several blogs like The Law Tog, MCP Actions, The Modern Tog, and I am all over Pinterest like it's nobodies business. I am in several photography groups on FB, and I am also taking college classes. I just feel that, I dunno, that I am not really learning a lot or enough or fast enough... I don't know. Does that make sense. I focus little bits of time on certain things, and I don't always remember it. 

That's why I have like 3 working notebooks full of photography notes (not counting school notes)

I know that I will always be changing and learning and growing... and I can be rather impatient.

I want to learn photo editing, but I haven't even tried to touch that yet. I have no idea how to really work Photoshop or Lightroom (I can make contact sheets in LR, but that is about it right now) but I want so badly to learn. I see all these amazing pictures that people share on their photography pages and I want to have amazing photos too. I guess I am envious of them... and I know that I shouldn't be.

Photos like this one prove that I can take good photos, but I think I am really hard on myself when it comes to my work...

It doesn't help that I am so far away from my family and friends. People here aren't used to me, aren't used to me having a camera, and a lot of people (military and civilian) seem to find it weird that photography is my hobby.... which doesn't make sense.

I need new subjects to photograph. I need to build my portfolio!

I need to slow down and take a breath I guess.

Good news- my new business cards came in today as did the computer that I ordered specifically for my business!

please excuse the crappy phone picture. 

These are just one side of the cards, the other side has my contact information 

I can't wait to hand out cards and start using my computer. I felt that I needed one specifically for business (and my regular one doesn't seem to always like to work right). Needed to separate my every day life from my business. Keep everything super organized and everything. 

Maybe I am trying too hard. Trying too hard to learn too quickly.